How the Journey Began

When the journey began to write this book, there was a sense of arrival.  Finally, I had arrived at the juncture to document a life changing experience, share the story and to be raw and vulnerable with myself, and about myself, as a human being.  It was something that I knew I would do at some point in my life when the time and space was right.  I had tried many times in the past, but it felt forced, it felt challenging, and I knew it was not authentic.  It was during those times that I committed to myself that the journey would only begin once I knew I could remain truthful and honest with myself, about myself, my thoughts and my emotions.  Only then would this journey begin.   The faith was held in that I would be able to hold the commitment regardless of how vulnerable, uncertain and unsettling the journey would be perceived in my own mind.    And by those around me.

Shared Experiences

One of the many reasons I have always wanted to write this book is because it is the perfect example of so many things coming together in different times and space.  Each in its own way and impacting every experience and one’s individual path uniquely.  Knowing how my experience has impacted my own life perspectives of the human condition and our intended purpose, it was always a curious wonder to know how my experience impacted the lives of those around me.  Those that shared in my experience.  My perspective was mine alone, it happened to me.  But everyone else shared a thread in their perspectives.  It was an experience that they watched happen to someone they knew, at some level.  The curiosity stemmed from wondering how and what aspects resonated and influenced their life perspectives.   Partly due to the experience being so traumatic, occurring at an impressionable young age and within unusual circumstances; and partly due to my innate desire to grow from every aspect of my existence.  To ensure there is intended purpose.

Perspectives

These perspectives, my experiences, all of them, from childhood to present, have led me to this point.  The cycle of the life journey and the evolution of self, molded by the experiences and people encountered along the way.  We tend to believe that we know the people we are surrounded by throughout our lives.  But do we really know them?  Do we really know their journey and try to understand where they have been, and what has molded them into who they are today?  Do we attempt to empathize and have compassion for all of the fears and pains that so easily paralyze our Spirit?  We generally do not take the time to connect to ourselves and reflect on our own lives, yet alone that of another and the circumstances of their journey.  Everyone has a journey.

Butterfly Effect

This book takes you through a pivotal time in my life that grounds the authentic self I am today.  Bringing awareness of how our presence, actions, and words, how our very essence influences the lives of those around us.  All it takes is one word, one look, one gesture, one experience to change a perspective in one’s life journey.  It provokes examination as to whether we contribute to the veil that jades one’s connection to true self, our does it encourage a state of authentic being supported in unconditional love.  In the end, the result is the same, the rippling surge of the Butterfly Effect, impacting everything around us like a wave through the global connectedness of our existence.  We are all connected.

Nurture or Release

The journey to write this book has not been an easy one, in fact, the depths have turned out to be unimaginable.  However, in the beginning, I somehow knew I would need a systematic approach if I was going to embrace this journey for all that it had to offer and for all that was intended.  This process would require me to explore every thought that came to mind, and reflect on any emotion associated with those thoughts.  If the thoughts and emotions served me for the remainder of my life journey, I would embrace them.  And if they did not, I would work to understand them and release them.  I would only nurture thoughts and emotions that serve me with love, gratitude, and kindness.

I was prepared for certain aspects to be harder to release than others.  And yet I knew that because of the years since this experience, in reflection and living a purposeful life, I would be provided a sense of peace and gratitude for all that has brought me to the here and now.   I tried to maintain a life intended along the way knowing one day, at the end of my earth walk, I would be called upon to look back in reflection and have peace.    And although there is an unexplainable gratitude for this pivotal experience, this process has allowed me to release the life history that surrounds this time in my life, allowing for new heart and mind space in unexpected ways.  Mostly in the sense of releasing the constraints imposed on my spirit.  This covers a much greater life span,  and a much greater essence beyond our physical existence.   When I started writing, it became evident that the book was evolving because it was time for my next stage of growth, a soulful growth. Only once I was ready for this growth would I be capable of recognizing and connecting back to the very essence of my being.  For me, that connection is deeply rooted in this vulnerable and authentic experience.

The story within this book is about a very traumatic experience of a sixteen-year-old girl.  That girl is me.  It is a very sad and traumatizing story, with the happiest of endings.  A tragedy overcome with determination, focus and resolve.  A struggle within every aspect of existence.  There are moments that convey the complete loss of hope, and many moments of celebration.   It contains gruesome details that are hard to imagine, unexpected romances and an unwavering choice to live.  Followed by a life full of evolving love, gratitude, and appreciation.  At times, the authenticity and vulnerability is palpable.    There are a lot of details contained within these covers.  Such as life and the experiences of past and present that form the covers of our existence.

Lessons Learned

I expected to be moved by reliving the experiences of my past, and I expected to feel a sense of connectedness to the energy that carried me through that time in my life. I also expected that it would be uncomfortable and challenging.  But I knew there would be growth.  There was always a sense of knowing that this journey would expand my existence, but I would have never predicted the paradigm shift that has unveiled a new level of awareness and connectedness.  I have always accepted the circumstances of my journey, and use my experiences to learn life lessons with unique perspectives.  I have always known that I am a better person for all that I have endured.   And I recognize that all of the beauty I possess in my life would not exist without every experience and every person encountered along the way.  Every moment bringing me to today.   Every breath that encapsulates me and my journey.  This book honors that journey.  This book honors you for being a part of my journey.